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Thanks you ma’am for sharing this wonderful piece of writing. It was really a trip down my memory lane. My childhood didn’t have an ‘intimidating Massi’. Yet, it was not much different from yours. At the age of about 6, I had seen a pack of dogs barking at a stranger. He was carrying vegetables in a polythene bag. Since then, whenever my parents used to go out for shopping, I was reminded of those barking dogs. Thus, I used to get worried that stray dogs might follow ma or papa. There are numerous examples of such imaginary adversary. And like you beautifully said, “my worry prevents anything from happening and would pat myself on the back!” I eventually found myself telling the very same thing. Mind is indeed a treacherous thing. Each time I used to worry and nothing bad used to happen, my mind started believing that worrying helps in preventing harm. This is unhealthy and a vicious cycle. It encourages one to be worried about anything and everything. And one day ‘IT’ happened. My mother met with a serious burn accident. And I was 850kms away from my family. I had two options at that time. One, to let emotions take control of me and cry my eyes out worrying what has happened and what might happen. Second was to fight my paralyzing emotions and worries. I chose to the latter and become my mother’s strength. She survived the unfortunate incident. It’s been years to that mishap and it has changed me from inside. I do worry, a lot. But now, I have divided worrying into two categories. One is ‘constructive worry’ and the other is ‘destructive worry’. My constructive worry make me take extra precautions and double check everything I do. Also, I now give paramount importance to safety, not just for my family but for society as a whole. I try to find solutions to any possible adversary and share them with my loved ones as precautionary measures. Additionally, I consciously try not to be worried in an unconstructive way. It somewhat works for me. I had never shared these feelings so outspokenly with myself, let alone others. Ma’am I really liked your article because it beautifully depicts our internal conflicts. All of us at some point in our life have felt these conflicts. Often, we are told not to worry and be happy in life. But this has never resonated with me. Worrying is like second nature to me. I can’t just stop worrying about my present and future. Though I am trying to control my productivity from worrying my making it constructive. I acknowledge that some things are outside my control. But, that won’t stop me from worrying about other things. Hence, I feel it is okay to get worried. Be it about family or any other petty things in life. I don’t want to let my worries go because constructive worries helps me keep my life in order.

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