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Hi Ma’am, An excellent article. You have stepped on a very simple looking yet a very critical issue that most of us tend to not realise. The intent – impact gap situation is most commonly seen with kids. Almost all the kids experience, the pressure of studying and scoring in school, excelling in sports, developing other extra-curricular talents such as singing, dancing, drawing and painting, among others. And such pressures, in a majority of cases, are put on them, by their very own parents, whom they blindly trust and look up to the most. In some cases, it is found, that parents try to enforce their own dreams and aspirations on their children. Why is this? The most common justification is that, I want my child to be the best and better than his or her peer group, at everything. They fail to realise that that sentence should be – “I want my child to be the best as per his or her interests and abilities”. In trying to accomplish this, the most common outcome is the constant yelling at and hitting (especially in India and other eastern countries) of the child. The parents always think that they are helping their child find motivation to perform better. But seldom do they realize the actual impact it has on the child. As you have rightly pointed out, the child tends to develop an attitude where he or she thinks that they are just not good enough and their parents are disappointed in them. There is a constant fear of failure and a constant struggle for pleasing their parents, to hope to gain their love and respect. This, over a period of time, leads to a low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in the child. It distances the child from its parents. This often leads to serious psychological damages to the child, which often last a life time. Even worse, some may take this forward with their own kids as well. The intention – impact gap has a far graver consequence than most of us tend to think. A great example of this is illustrated in the movie “Taare Zamin Paar”, but we are not quite sure if the intention of the movie has had an impact on the intended audience. Thus, the question remains, I want to help, does it help?

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